Poor Pamela
I was just crushed today to learn of Pamela Anderson’s divorce. Just devastated. I curled up on my couch with a tub of ice cream and a bottle of red wine and just cried and cried. And cried some more. I couldn’t even get up to use the bathroom. I just lied there, listless and full of despair.
Poor thing. Poor, poor woman. I can only imagine what she must be going through. To have her precious heart broken once again. Why is this world so effing cruel?
Goddammit, why? Just when she looked like she was getting her life back together, this had to go and happen. Just when I thought that Pam had at long last found a man that truly deserved her. A man that would love her and treat her right. A man able to give her the respect and care she so merits.
And now this. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. What did Pam ever do to deserve this? It’s just so unfair. I really believed that her and Rick had something special. That this one was going to make it. Shows what I know.
I just wanted to see Pamela happy one time in her life. Is that too much to ask? She’s been through so much. She’s such a loving, caring woman and to see her finally able to enjoy one consistent relationship would have brought me so much joy. Just devastating.
Pamela has always shown such a beautiful spirit. She brings her best to everything that she touches. She is warm, sensitive, and so sweet. When she enters a room the light goes on. What is keeping this generous woman from finding the happiness she so deserves? It seems I’ll never know.
It’s just that when you think you really know someone well, like Pamela, it’s simply shocking when something you never expected to comes out of their camp. Just two months ago it seemed like all was roses with Pam, and now—BOOM—this bombshell explodes. Another failed marriage.
I understood where it could go wrong with Tommy. That made sense to me. And obviously Rock was just a rebound. But Rick? Who would’ve ever suspected in a million years? They just seemed like such a perfect couple. Like it was just meant to be. When those two married, I was sure it would be forever.
I remember thinking to myself when I learned about the news of her and Rick’s quickie Vegas wedding, finally. Finally Pamela has found the love that she has been lacking all these years. Finally she found a man that was worthy of her.
And now this. Fuck, shit, fuck. Oh Pamela. Oh Pamela if I could just hug you right now. Just cradle you against my shoulder and let you know that everything is going to be all right. That when you think you’ve hit rock bottom, there’s only one other way to go.
Because I believe in you Pam. I believe in you and I believe in the power of love. I believe we all have a soul-mate out there waiting for us and it just takes some of us a little longer to find them. Some of us may make a few more mistakes than others. But he’s out there.
And you might not find him in some music video. And you might not find him on some set. And you might not even find him in a sex tape. But he is out there. And he is waiting for you. And you must find him.
So get up off that couch, Pamela. Like you have so many times before. Get up off that couch, put down that ice cream, cork up that wine and begin your search again. With renewed vigor. And revitalized passion. Because if you’re never able to love again, than I’m not sure I can either.
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