Enraged and Underage
We’ve all, in the 18-25 year old demographic, noticed it. We’ve all been surrounded by it, confounded by it, and grounded by it. We’ve all wondered whether we missed the boat, or when, for that matter, everyone else got the revised ferry schedule. We’ve all asked ourselves this question—what the hell is with people our age getting married?
For a while we thought maybe we were just imagining this. So what that girl from your middle school just got married and your mom saw their picture in the town newspaper and gave you a call? Big deal, that guy from that frat who was dating that girl since sophomore year proposed last week? Who cares that your best friend from high-school is about to be the best man for his best friend from college? These were all mere coincidences. A few commitment-chasers chomping at the bit and jumping the gun on the life-cycle.
But now, our worst fears have been confirmed. This trend has now been verified by the most binding of trendsetters, The trend-setter in stone. The MTV. With their new train-wreck TV show Engaged and Underage MTV has blown the lid right off this bubbling pot of premature nuptials. People are in fact getting married younger—there’s a reality show about it. How much more real can it get?
But, why? Why are we wedding as such wee lads? Why are we not waiting, mating, examinating our options. Why are we so quick to tie that knot around our neck, straighten it out, and go to work? What is so tempting about eliminating temptation?
Theory 1. We are the children of the first great generation of divorced parents. We are from broken families, and so we want to make a whole one of our own, as soon as p. We fear we will be as alone as our single-parents, or as pathetic as our ones still dating, so we choose the path of most commitment. Let’s get this marriage thing over and done with as quick as kittens so we won’t end up single and lonely like our mom and dad.
Theory 2. Dating sucks. When one can sit there at a table with friends and actually make an argument for why Match.com is a viable and venerable way to meet people, you know the dating scene is in trouble. We sit in front of our computers so much, we’re afraid to talk. We forget how to do it. And, if we do go out to talk, we’re staring at our cell-phones wondering what time it is so that we can stop. Or hoping that maybe someone texted us. No one wants to meet someone new, we want to get a call from someone old.
Theory 3. Fear. We’re so afraid that the world is going to blow up, the glaciers are going to burn up, or the ocean might throw up, that we all just want to grab a little love before it’s our time to go. We don’t got time to mingle. You might not be the one, but I don’t got time to count down from ten. The end of the world is near. Let’s get to Vegas.
Getting married is the new going steady. A ring is the new pin. Because really, what’s the worst that can happen? You get divorced, big whoop. That negative stigma was thrown away with flapper dresses and peace signs. All you have to do nowadays is change your MySpace profile to single, show up in public without undies, and go through months and months of torturous painful litigation. Who cares?
And, don’t get me wrong. I don’t mean to criticize these child couples–I’m pro-love, pro-marriage, pro-creation, pro-bliss, pro sho. Vow on with your bad selves. You want to get married away, I won’t trip you stepping over the threshold. Just make sure I’m invited and you’ve got a chocolate fountain.
I don’t want to rain on anyone’s procession. I love Engaged and Underage. It is the perfect precursor for the hyper-sexual Real World and best post-show for the pubescent My Super Sweet Sixteen. It inhabits a necessary space in the reality continuum. How else would we know what happened to people in these formative years?
It’s just a little scary that that’s what’s happening then. When TV reflects culture and culture reflects TV, it’s impossible to distinguish the chicken from the egg. Whether people we’re getting married younger, or whether they’re going to start now, the sprint to the sacrificial altar is a concerning trend. And it begs the question—what’s the rush? When thirty is the new twenty, twenty is the new ten, and ten the new babies, shouldn’t we maybe take our time. The priest and the presents aren’t going anywhere.
Valentine’s Day is coming up, the day we’ve selected to honor love. And honor it we should. We should embrace love. Revel in love. Love love. Press up on love. Get nasty with love. All of the above with love. But, my age people let’s not settle for the first one willing to settle. Let’s take our time. Live a little. Love a lot. Breathe in, breathe out. And then, when we’ve done all that, and experienced our terrible twenty-somethings, then we can truly look forward to marriage. I do.
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